If there is one stereotype I can’t stand, it’s the sad stripper trope. You know the one. She’s sad, she’s insecure, she does drugs, she’s lonely, she was abused, her daddy didn’t give her enough attention. STOP. While it’s true for some of them, most aren’t like that.
There is something about a woman who is willing to show off her body without shame that enrages a certain type of (terrible) person. And despite the ubiquity of strip clubs all over the country, so little is known about the workers inside.
The sad stripper stereotype has got to stop. Every stripper I've ever known has been confident with her body and her sexuality, funny and feminist as fuck. So why are they so judged? Strippers are seen as a threat because they willingly commodify their bodies and turn a nice profit from it. Sex work is generally frowned on by society and it takes a certain type of girl to dance around naked in front of a bunch of strangers. I'd say it takes a tougher, more enlightened type of woman, because to put up with that kind of societal disdain on a nightly basis can definitely put a strain on you. All that judgment is ignorant and harmful.
Now let's talk about why strippers are so fascinating. People love sex and they love entertainment. Strippers are sexy entertainers who work in dark rooms with fake names, secrets, tons of cash and plastic shoes. There is something intriguing about women who literally put themselves on a pedestal to be worshipped, admired and unfortunately, reviled.
I met Tiffany (not her real name) through a mutual friend and we hit it off right away. I met up with her at her club, Fantasies, where I photographed and interviewed her. Here is what she had to say:
When and why did you become a stripper?
I started dancing when I was 20 years old with my best friend who was 18 at the time. I started because I was tired of spending a ton of money every week to go out and getting harassed by guys I had no intention of going out with. My best friend came to my former job after her first day dancing with $150 that she made. It was a really modest sum of money but a quarter of my 30 hour per week paycheck. The next weekend I started dancing.
How did you apply? Is there an auditioning process or is it all based on looks?
It's different for each club. More upscale gentleman's clubs will require an audition which starts as soon as you apply to work there. Hair, makeup, nails, and the way you walk and talk is taken into consideration. They might say they have too many girls (a nice way of saying you're not their type). If they ask you to come for an audition then you've passed the first test. Your audition is to see how attractive your body is and if you fit into the club's audience's idea of attractiveness. I'm not sure how I feel about the audition process. Being African American can be tricky in upscale clubs because they might only want 5 black girls for every 15-20 white girls.
Tell us about the clubs you've worked in or the club you're working in now.
I've worked in about 8 clubs now. Some were extremely raunchy (basically the strip club was a front for a brothel). I just couldn't get with the flow. I definitely wasn't making any money. Others were glam and glitz. I like the glam clubs better since it's easier to make money. It's just straight dancing, nothing else.
How much money do you usually make in a night?
It definitely varies! Some nights I've only made $50 (after paying my house fees, the DJ, house mom, bar tab, outfits, etc.). My goal is $400 but I've made $1100 one night, $600 the next and then only $100 the next. Dancing with 20 other girls is harder than it sounds. You need to perfect the art of seduction, have a really positive attitude and a bit of luck. My motto is "slow feet don't eat!" (laughs).
What are your co-workers/fellow dancers like?
I have a few girls that I'm close with but other than that, I've learned not to get close to anyone. You never know who is preying on your downfall so I just stay to myself or in a close-knit circle.
What does a house mom do?
A house mom is like a godmother. She gives advice, snacks, tampons, helps you with your hair or your costume and anything else you need backstage.
Why do you think men go to strip clubs?
I know men go to clubs to fulfill their fantasy. It all depends on who and what they're in the mood for. That's how you get the money.
What are your patrons like?
Some are really nice and sweet and some won't talk to certain girls. Some are extremely weird and creepy. Some guys are really cheap. Some just want someone to talk to them.
How has stripping affected your ideas about sexuality and commitment?
Dating as a dancer is hard. Trust, insecurity and jealousy can really get in the way. My current relationship is balanced and healthy. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend at one time wasn't comfortable with me dancing. After having a lot of conversations about our feelings, we're in a good place now. He has his own job so it's not like he's pimping me for money or I'm taking care of him. I know he has trouble with it but he's definitely supportive of my business.
What advice would you give to ladies who are considering getting into stripping?
The best advice I can give to someone is, it's better to be over-prepared than under-prepared. You're a stripper, not a whore so keep it classy. Stretch everyday. 8 inch heels are easier to walk in than 6 or 7 inches. You don't need to be drunk to work. In fact, don't drink at all while you're working. Know your self worth. It's your playground and men are there to submit to you. You're not there to submit to them.
*For more, listen to Episode 14 of The Aesthetic Distance Podcast. Guest Jess Rhee and I discuss the sex worker advocacy movement and why Asian women and other women of color are left out. Think of the sex workers you see in pop culture — Sharon Stone in Casino, Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Deuce, Demi Moore in Striptease, and Catherine Deneuve in Belle De Jour — why is it considered empowering and glamorous when white women choose sex work but it’s considered dirty and criminal when women of color do it?
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I usually do a write up of the events I’ve organized or hosted and my most-read articles at the end of the year. This was an unusual year (obviously, there is no need to go into it here) so I didn’t bother. Instead I want to highlight a project of mine that I am particularly proud of — it’s my new podcast show, Unverified Accounts, that I cohost with my frequent collaborators, Chris Jesu Lee and Filip Guo. If you're a big movie/TV/book buff, have leftist sympathies, but can't stand 'wokeness' dumbing down our culture, then we're the podcast for you. So far in our 25 episodes, we’ve covered a range of contentious topics.